Salaam, I am having these bad thoughts coming in my mind. I don’t know if it is intentional(hope its not)or unintentional thoughts. I have done some research online I found out that these waswas are a sign of faith. At times I feel very vulnerable & depressed. I don’t know whether Allah will forgive me,i can’t tell this to anyone and this is eating me from inside. I cant concentrate on studies. I really want to be a true Muslim, but these waswas are bad. The more i fight it the more i think of it. I need all the information to fight this, I don’t want to go here and there. I’m reluctant to tell my parents about it or to discuss this with a imam,I’m scared. I don’t want to die this way. I wish my enemy should not get these thoughts its very evil. Sometimes i am confused whether is it my thoughts or am i doing it purposely. I am starting to stay alone.
wa ‘alaykum salam,
The Sahaba of the Prophet (s) were also afflicted by such whispers, and told the Prophet (s) that they were so ashamed of these they would rather die than mention them. So you are not experiencing something new.
Read the post “How to control shaytan’s whispers” and keep the advice there.