Question:
Assalamu alaykum,
Seeking your guidance regarding non-Muslim family: Since years I have inhibitions about visiting and being with them. I’m not sure which of my feelings are from truth and which from falsehood. MSN said I could visit my mother every two months (only). This made things easier! But what about others, e.g. grandparents?
My grandfather would insist on playing lotto with me, they might smoke in front of me or do other undesirable things. In my heart I always make the intention of visiting them, but I do not know how to handle those situations and end up not visiting them. I do not want to incur Allah’s displeasure with my behavior, but feel unable to handle.
I tell my mother to convey my greetings to them, but of course they won’t understand why I stay away, since we live in the same country, although not in the same region.
Answer:
audhu billah mina ‘sh-shaytani ‘r-rajeem,
Bismillahi ‘r-Rahmani ‘r-Raheem,
wa `alaykum salam,
If your heart is inclined to visit for the sake of Allah and His Prophet for maintaining good relations with blood ties, do so. Keep the support of your Shaykh with you and be patient with your family. If you are not engaging in forbidden actions you will not be responsible. Insha-Allah the mutual love between you and your family will bring benefit to your visits with support of Allah, His Prophet and Awliya. You are not responsible to change their ways but to behave well towards them, insha-Allah you will be guided.
wa’Allahu a`lam.
Kamau Ayyubi
