Question:
Asalam Alaikum,
Recently while engaged in an emotional and heated debate with my mother I made three oaths – 1 by Allah, 1 by Quran and 1 by my Shaykh Nazim that I will never try to explain anything to my mother as she mostly misunderstands me but after i cooled down i was not able to keep the oaths. Please tell me the kaffarah I have to offer against breaking these oaths and please pray for me that i do not engage in heated debates with my mother.
Allah bless you all.
Jazak Allah Khairun
Answer:
`Alaykum Salam,
Mawlana Shaykh Hisham is praying for you in sha Allah. One should not engage in heated debate with anyone. The one who does not understand is invariably ourselves. Your oath is null and void because it is an oath to do something very wrong and commit `uquq (filial rebellion) which is among the major sins (kaba’ir), namely to refrain from good conversation with the one person that has the most right to your good conversation in the whole world. So it is an oath that (i) is an enormous sin in itself and requires heartfelt repentence to Allah, (ii) is an obligation for you to violate and disregard, and (iii) nevertheless requires expiation.
Expitation is to feed ten poor people ten excellent meals, or clothe them with garments they can pray in, or *if unable to afford any of the preceding* then fast three consecutive days. The conditions of repentence are to regret your act from the heart, amend the damage it caused, repay the rights of your victim(s), and to resolve never to do it again.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
