I humbly request dua from MSN and MSH. I am at a desperate point in my life. Since childhood had dreams of becoming a doctor, however, my grades are not sufficient to get into medical school. Very seriously depressed about this, contemplated suicide several times. I would like to transition to something else, but I have no idea what to do. The worst part is that I have hurt my parents a lot with my actions, and it is for this reason I feel suicidal. My parents had high expectations for me.
Is there any adkhar I can do for my situation? If it is in divine will that I will not be successful, can I make dua to get cancer or to die? I can’t stand to hurt my parents any longer. Jazakullahu khair for website and may Allah bless you all.
As Salaam alaikum,
May Allah lift your distress and increase your hope and happiness. Inshallah you may read and take these verses to heart and soul:
Allah says, “Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (39:53)
And if, when they wronged themselves, they had come to you, [O Muhammad], and asked forgiveness of Allah and the Messenger had asked forgiveness for them, they would have found Allah Accepting of repentance and Merciful. (4:64)
Success is not only what dunya people define with degrees and titles. Know that you were created with a purpose. Focus on your own healing physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Try to get you mind and heart clear with tahlil – La ilaha illaAllah and Salawat. Seek the intercession of Prophet (saws) for you life, relationships and success. Meditate and be receptive to Allah and His Prophet’s (saws) Love and Pleasure. Perhaps you will find another means towards being a doctor such as naturopath or holisitic health, which is what Mawlana Shaykh Nazim taught and practiced.