Question:
I have a question about what Grand Sheik Abdullah r.a said about certain people being kafer one day and believing the next.
I hate Islam one day and then I am just trying to pretend to be a good person the next. I cant remember verbatim what he said in the book about that I just remember thinking there is no hope for a person like me.
I’m making big mistakes and digging myself a big hole. I need help I am very lost and very angry hating everyone cause that’s easiest.
Can you please pray for me that I’m just able to get through the day? I am sorry I am evil and horrible and bad.
Answer:
We are all working on trying to be clean, to be good, and there are always obstacles that make us doubt our ability to live full of faith and love. Unfortunately, to hate is really the easiest thing as one only sees himself sufficient, though in constant self-denial about his inherent need of others. This is an illness of ignorance whose only cure is to learn to know.
If we know that our living on this earth is not the objective but that there is a higher purpose and aim, if we know that in giving love provides healing from hate, if we know that The Creator is ready to receive us with His Mercy that transcends all our mistakes, perhaps we shall know to appreciate that everything in our midst has a right to be where they are and what they are doing, as long as they are doing the right and abstaining from the wrong.
The key is tawbah – to return. There is nothing more beloved to Allah than His servant who turns to Him with love and admitting our weaknesses, asking for His forgiveness and mercy. This is where His Divine Support will radiate in us.
May Allah grant you a soft and gentle heart, and Insha Allah, Mawlana Shaykh Hisham shall pray for you.
Abdul Shakur
