Question:
As salaam alaykum,
What does forbearance actually mean? I am angry with most neighbours and colleagues around me. When I was patient and softer with them,they behaved so badly I now loathe them and see them with anger. My brother is selfish and leaves all family responsibilities to me. My parents over-involve themselves with others who take advantage and are rude to them and me. I feel trapped and as a result I hate. But when I look up forbearance, all I see is to do it,but not how, nor if it’ll build my self-respect, which is getting worn down by all this stress. How do I practice forbearance & balance it with proper personal boundaries.
Answer:
`Alaykum Salam,
Spend time (suhba) with the people of forbearance, make dhikr with them and their followers and you will end up like them in sha Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
