Question:
Assalamualaikum.
Some years ago I told a big lie to a guy, I told him I had cancer. Then afterwards I told him that I got it treated and that I am fine now. I am now planning to marry this guy but I don’t know how to tell him. I won’t be able to face him. I know that he I reveal this to him he will never want to speak to me again because it is such a big lie. I don’t know why I lied but now I regret it because I genuinely love him and would like to marry him. Please advise me on what I should do as this bothers me a lot.
Answer:
Alaykum salam,
Allah has laid bare for you the ugliness of your act and the far reaching consequences of your betrayal of trust. At the same time He has protected your honor by not exposing you. He is only asking a true repentance to Him from you. Present your transparency to Him through heartfelt repentance — knowing that you did an enormity — then ask Him to bless your intention regardless of its chances of realization.
At the same time, on the human plane, since you now want to pursue marriage with the victim of this act, you need to come clean with your prospective spouse as that subject is part of how he sees you and it definitely needs to be adjusted.
Honesty will benefit both you and him in the long run even if it might break you up. The latter eventuality might heal in sha Allah; but there is no avoiding your initiating truthful disclosure even if it will hurt; as not doing so is much more harmful yet, for both of you.
Keep salat assiduously and remember Allah at all times. Pray for inspiration and dear guidance, as you are still in a dark and diseased corner but you are able and called upon to fix it in sha Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
