Question:
Assalamu alaykum Mawlana Shaykh Hisham,
My parents are strict Catholic and they disapprove my 3 years relationship with my Muslim boyfriend. I have secretly converted to Islam in July 2010. We would like to get married soon but all the effort that my boyfriend and I tried has been rejected by my parents, especially my dad. I’ve been feeling frustrated lately and scared to make decision as both my parents are not in good health condition, I don’t want to cause them pain.
Please guide me on what I should do and please pray for me so they will give their blessing on my marriage plan.
Thank you Mawalana for all your help and guidance.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,
Your parents have rights on you even though they are Catholic or non-Muslim. They are Ahl al-Kitab. Islamically speaking, not culturally or socially when you converted they have no right to dictate anything on you due to your belief and because they are not converted you can marry yourself to that boy through someone you appoint as your wakeel.
Now the other side of the question, is that you are worried for your parents. You have two choices–do the marriage and solve it later, or do the marriage so your parents don’t know and when it is easier, tell them in the future.
I don’t like you as a convert to say “boyfriend”, rather, say “fiance”. “Boyfriend” implies too many question marks.
Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani
