Question:
Assalamu Alaikum:
My non-Muslim family members have very strong political views. They listen to people on the far-right that make gross generalizations against Muslims. My father uses the word “Muslim” as a synonym for clandestine extremist. He does this in front of me. When I tried to dialogue with them and explain that not all Muslims are extremists and that most are like our family, peaceful good citizens. They begin arguing beside the point and taking about extremists. They refuse to acknowledge that Muslims are not extremists and only under extreme pressure will they agree to this point, only to retract it later and reiterate that they do not see why they have to say that.
However, for me it is becoming increasingly difficult to meet them, even for the purpose of dawa and maintaining family ties. My heart is contracting. What should I do?
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
Da`wah is not accomplished by argumentation but by showing goodness.
{Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!} (Fussilat, 41:43)
There is no need to argue with them on issues that you cannot agree. Keep silat ar-rahim, family ties, for Allah’s sake, keep good character and conduct and some day insha-Allah they will see that not all Muslims are extremists. But if you insist on arguing, as Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani says, “argumentation extinguishes the light of the heart.” So try to avoid these discussions by changing the topic by saying, “I prefer peace, let’s talk on something else.”
W ‘Allahu `alam,
Taher Siddiqui
