Question:
I have been married for about a year. Up till now, my husband and I still have not built a happy relationship with each other. We hardly talk or spend time with each other. He wants to bring himself closer to Allah, Alhamdulillah, but I feel neglected, unloved and uncared for, and he tells me to find ways to make myself happy (without depending on him) and to build my connection with Allah.
My question is: Does “surrendering to Allah” mean leaving all your desires, even the desire to build a loving relationship with one’s husband?
Answer:
Making one’s spouse happy is a precondition of a married person’s
approach to Allah; otherwise, one is away from the Sunna since the
Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) said that marriage is half the
Religion, i.e. a happy marriage.
Good humor and personal generosity toward wives are requirements from
every husband before any other charity of theirs toward anyone else. The
Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) advised men to play, laugh and
spend the most pleasant and pleasurable time possible whenever they are
with their wives; only after that is taken care of can they turn to
formal worship. Pleasing one’s wife is worship also, and it suffices
that the angels intercede for the married couple who are making love.
Recite “Ya Haleem” x100 daily to increase love. Gift your husband the book
“The Conduct of Marriage in Islam” by Imam Ghazali which helps correct
many false notions that stem from influence from unIslamic cultures.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
