Question:
Asalamu alaykum Hajj Gibril Haddad,
May you have long life and good health.
I had hormonal problems since a child, although my birth certificate said female, I acted and was male since as soon as I could walk and talk. After lots of specialists, drugs, chemicals, and investigations, they gave up and I had gender reassignment. My body chemistry was beginning the process anyhow. I had to undergo surgery. My birth certificate says male now.
Now my only worry is who will I find to marry, as I can not give them children, although I can perform perfectly as a man.
Should I just give up thinking of marriage, or pursue it?
“I” have not changed nor tried to be something I was not, I have always been honest about things. It has been a gift in many ways.
Hope you can help.
Answer:
Alaykum salam,
Many others who went through medical and psychological change are in the same case, but looking for male spouses. They are already cognizant and accepting of all the parameters of their life — including not having children. So perhaps you might find a stable marriage partner there.
Otherwise (meaning with the general population) you will have to be completely transparent upfront about your background first, and about your inability to have children second, just as that would be expected from any prospective groom or bride who already know they cannot have children.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
