Question:
… impression in this regard. One reads: „In Islam, when the husband obeys the wife, he is a sinner, and if the wife is causing him to listen to her, she also is a sinner. When the husband is obeying the wife, he is disobeying the Lord.“ (Mercy Oceans II, p. 215)
The second one reads: „It is not permitted for a Mu’min to leave his brother in religion and not speak to him for more than three days … if one is leaving him for more than three days, Satan takes you under his control for 40 days.“ (p.192f)
These days, again, communication is broken completely. I don’t know where the wrong lays.
MSH said before we should try to be patient until Hajj with our specific issue (he was referring to sihr). We’re trying to accept, but are asking advice how to maneuver the turbulence.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
Taking a quote out of context is surefire way to cause fitna and misunderstanding. Here is the full passage, which is certainly clear and unambiguous:
In Islam marriage is a sacred foundation; it must be kept very carefully. In Islam women have rights and men have rights. Both sides must respect each other’s rights. That is the Lord’s advice to us. A marriage which makes Allah Almighty pleased, is when both keep respect towards each other. Marriage is the foundation and the family is a social building. There must be one head for every building. In Islam, Allah makes the husband the head of the family, and his wife should obey him. A lovely family making the Lord pleased is when the wife obeys the husband. In Islam, when the husband obeys the wife, he is a sinner, and if the wife is causing him to listen to her, she also is a sinner. When the husband is obeying the wife, he is disobeying the Lord. Husbands must use wisdom; women believe easily, their hearts are fine.
A husband, when going to do something, may ask his wife; it does not mean her answer is an order. When she is asked, she may say, ‘As you like.’ That woman makes her Lord pleased with her. If asking, ‘May I go, may I buy, may I do,’ that is the good manner of a lady. A lady; the exact meaning is to be so gentle, especially to husbands. Now they are very polite with strangers, but very hard on their husbands, like a hell-mouth. Subhanallah, she must be more polite to her husband than to anyone, and then Allah makes him an excellent husband for her.
Taher Siddiqui
