Question:
My fiance has been completely honest about her sexual past. I have committed zina a few times in past and repented. I have decided to conceal my past zina BUT feel very guilty of hiding my past as she has been honest. What shall I do?How to overcome guilt?
Answer:
The sexual past, even if formed of licit relationships, is not something one shares, even less shares proudly, even less if the past includes zina. It would be enough to admit, for the sake of honesty, that one has been married in the past and that’s that.
One should keep the rest to oneself, and even more so if it consists in sins which Allah has covered up for one. “Allah does not like publicizing wrongdoing except if one has been wronged” Surat al-Nisa’ (4:148).
The Prophet, upon him blessings and peace, said: “All in my Umma are forgiven except those who publicize wrong; Allah covers up the wrong they did and they divulge it” (Bukhari).
The way to overcome guilt is not to share such one’s own moral burden with others but to make istighfar, to ask Allah forgiveness while protecting others from its heaviness, and to keep little by little trying to become a better person in every humble way possible. That brings light and ease into your life and the lives of those near you, with help from Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
