Question:
I have a genetic skin condition which also affects my mouth and oesophagus. Due to constant scarring of my throat I now need a procedure under General Anaesthetic to dilate it so I can eat and drink comfortably. The procedure is extremely common in this illness and Alhumdulillah very safe. But the thing is I am terrified of the General Anaesthetic and worry a lot about reacting badly to the drug and dying. I can’t control these negative thoughts, they are so disturbing that I keep delaying the procedure & my throat is getting worse. I was hoping that maybe through my Duas and Sadqa there would be a miracle so I don’t end up having this procedure. I’ve coped well up until now with the serious obstacles in my life but now at times I feel very bitter about God which I hate. I already have chronic wounds which I bandage twice a day and have scarring on my body due to this illness along with contracted fingers and no nails. I know this life is a test but I feel as if God has been unjust with me. Please don’t hate me for saying this. I honestly HATE myself for feeling like this as I’ve tasted the sweetness of Imaan but due to mostly this anaesthetic fear I’m now becoming bitter.
Because of my fears I feel that I’m losing the connection I once had with Allah (SWT). I feel paralysed by this fear. Please advice me and ask Mawlana and your entire blessed team to make Dua for me. I feel like a coward due to this fear and a weak Muslim.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
Insha-Allah Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani is praying for you.
Recite:
فَآوَاكُمْ وَأَيَّدَكُم بِنَصْرِهِ وَرَزَقَكُم مِّنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ
fa aawakum wa ayyadakum bi-nasrihi wa razaqakum mina at-tayyibati la`allakum tashkuroon Once a day until the operation.
Taher Siddiqui
