Request:
Salaam to all,
Alhamdulillah for everything you have done for us.
Ya Sayiddi i dont feel as though i am good enough to be in Tariqat or to have Bayya with you. i have such a big ego and i listen to it over my Shaykh, Astagfirullah!! I dont deserve to be with you and i definitely do not want to burden you over my selfish disgusting habits! i ask for forgivness and protection yet i still listen to the stupid thing!!! I feel down and depressed because of my ego after i have done haraam or gunah. what should i do? i dont want to burden you any more. i dont even feel clean becasue i listen to it so regularly. i just think im going to end up in hell which im terrified about. im not a good person, please for give me.
Response:
wa `alaykum salam,
I think we are all with you and like you in what you mentioned. I wish I could be like you and realize how bad I truly am.
Only the mashaykh/awliyaullah have been granted cleanness and been “certified” by the Prophet (s) as such. And it is a grant that they have accepted us to be associated and related to them.
Insha-Allah Mawlana Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani will pray for you and for all of us to escape the clutches of our four huge enemies: nafs, dunya, hawa and shaytan.
Keep up the self-accounting as that will help – as our mashaykh teach – to clean you of bad characteristics and dirtiness of the ego, insha-Allah.
Taher Siddiqui
