Question:
As salam mualaykum,
Shaykh I have a hatred towards my life that everyday I contemplate about suicide. I feel I have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide and if I would do that action I will go to hell and if I live this life I feel as if I’m living in hell. I don’t believe in happiness and if I do, somethings is wrong and that I shouldn’t feel like that. Many things happened to me when I as a child and I tell my self that’s and good I deserved that. I indulge in marijuana where that puts my mind at ease. If not I’m a mean person and some say that I’m a good person, but I don’t believe that. I’ve always put my self down because I don’t deserve it, and that there are others who deserve that more than me. Should I just end it and just burn?
Answer:
`Alaykum Salam,
Everyone is born with goodness and all human beings have been honored by our Creator. Say “La ilaha illa Allah Muhammadun Rasulullah” one time and you enter Paradise. Make Salawat once and Allah Himself blesses you ten times. Do not despair. With a little dhikr on a regular basis you will improve in sha Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
