Request:
its been six months since I have had major depression from waswas and now am struggling with thoughts where i don’t know what am saying that when my heart, soul and head burns, I realize i may have said a bad word to Allah. I hate my position that i cry and cry with feeling of hopelessness, fearing that i don’t lose my iman. i keep on repenting but honestly i only and live and die in Allah’s name and can’t live doing this. when reading salah am always fearing that am afraid to mention his holy name. Am i committing a major sin. If my beloved Rasulallah was here i would go running to him and tell him how much i love Allah and can’t bear myself say thing bad things. I fear him so much that i feel am doomed.
Response:
Fear of loss of iman is a mark of iman but it is not the mark of believers to be constantly upset and feel doomed. Allah Most High said, “You Believers are My hope for mankind.” Therefore brace up. Trust in Allah and be sure He forgives sins when your love for His Prophet is true. Say His Name in Salat just as Prophet taught us and be happy that insha-Allah Allah accepts it. Increase your Salawat, insha-Allah it will get better.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
