Question:
Assalamualaykum Shaykh,
Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to ask a question in this site.
I noticed these few years, probably after getting married, i went through many bad incidents happenned only to me. Started with car accident, then lost of my belongings, including difficulties finding job. Latest was the lost my belongings from my car that has been broken.This has made me think i could have done something wrong until all bad incident happen to me. My husband used to tell me that these happen because of i disobey him. I really want to know whether what my husband told me was correct? I dont want myself to repeat the same mistake,neither want more bad incident to occur in the future. Please advice me. Apology if this question disturb you in any manner. Thank you shaykh,may Allah bless you.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
Allah swt said:
{Obey Allah, Obey the Prophet (s) and those in authority among you.} (Surat an-Nisa, 4:159)
and
{Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.} (Surat an-Nur, 24:34)
Now as Mawlana Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani said, “Obedience comes from love. If you love your country you obey. If you love God you obey God, and if you love anyone you listen and share. If you love the Prophet (s) you listen and obey him.”
So your husband is calling you to obey when he does not make obedience easy, by making you love him, is not going to work well in a family. Rather he must consider if he would like to “be punished” for any of his own disobedience to Allah and His Prophet (s), or would rather be forgiven.
Taher Siddiqui
Taher Siddiqui
