Question:
Asalamu Alaikum dear Shaykh,
May you be in good health. May Allah keep you and your family protected always. May He bless you all. Ameen.
I have been married for some years now and have still not been intimate with my husband. There are various reasons. Mostly I clamp up and push him away. We have struggled with our relationship and are more at peace these days. I have tried but I don’t know what to do anymore as I have gotten so used to pushing him away it has become a reflex. I am scared and my husband doesn’t care much about what I want or need, it is just about him.
How can I stop fearing this? Please help.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
A primary purpose of marriage is for the two partners to fulfill their sexual desires in a halal manner. Your refusal is preventing him from this halal outlet and may drive him to haram. If you cannot fulfill his needs you need to mutually agree either to go your separate ways or if he is accepting the status quo, then you need not worry further. But you do need to discuss this together.
Taher Siddiqui
