Question:
Salaam. My family will not allow me to marry a girl from a different bloodline.(We are not Syeds). Despite the fact that the girl is pious and is a person of tariqat, my family would like me to marry a girl who’s forefathers were from the same village (Indian SubContinent) as ours and shares our bloodline. My forefathers migrated from the Indian subcontinent about 120 years ago. The girl and I have been born in the same country, went to the same school, share the same beliefs, follow tariqat and share a number of similarities. Others in my family have married this way, became distant from the family but are living happily. Is this not tribalism? What’s the ruling on this? Forgive me if I am wrong.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam,
This is a delicate issue that needs to be addressed wisely. You can explain to your family the reasons behind your choice and try to convince them. Do explain your commitment to your family even after marriage because this is very important for them – and be reassuring. Do not show anger or disgust but do it in the most becoming manner. Parents’ blessings is very important for a marriage.
You may also ask them to introduce to you their preference so they feel they are contributing positively into this matter. Look into all factors, pray Istikharah and then decide on the better one for you and your family mutually. Make du`a if you want them to accept your choice. Recite Hasbunallah wa Na`ima ‘l-Wakeel 100x and Istighfar 100x daily.
Refer also to Shaykh Gibril’s wise advise to a similar situation here. And success is from Allah.
Abdul Hadi Shakur
