Question:
salaam alaykum wa rachmatula wa barakato hu
Your eminence ya Sayyidi Moulana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani I kiss your blessed hand, I am a very weak one, nothing, trying to be Rabbanni.
Sayyedi I have been married since the age of 16, I did not want to get married to my cousin but my father said he wanted to see me get married before he passes away, as he was very ill for the honour of my father I married my cousin, I have not felt no attraction to her at all, my family have been pushing me to get on well with her after arguements and problems over the course of 18 year’s I have endured this, as I have 4 kids and my sister is married to her brother,so I am stuck as there is no way out. I am confused as I still feel no attraction or love for her, we have seperated and come back after family pushing us to be together, I can’t think of divorce as my sister would get divorced and I don’t want that, Moulana pls advice me what to do as i want to have a good enviroment at home to love and be loved so we have harmony as a family,and be strong in iman for all the family….may Allah subhana wa ta ‘ala raise your’s and his eminence Moulana Shaykh Nazim rank billion trillon times , I did not wish to burden you, I am just so fustrated, pls advise me.
Answer:
wa `alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Grandshaykh Abdullah relayed this story once that there was this great wali in Damascus who one day got very tired of his murids always complaining about their spouses, their job, their health, and money problems. He sat them all in a circle and told them to each write their biggest complaint in life on a piece of paper and place it in this bag altogether. He shooke the bag and then went around the circle and told the murids to pick a new problem out of the bag. The murids were shocked! No one wanted to pick a problem they didn’t know, what if it was WORSE than their current problem?
The moral is that we need to be content with what Allah has given us. If we are content, Allah will send us the reeh as-siba (breeze of support) and happiness because we surrendered to His will. Treat your wife with kindness; be good to one another and look to your Lord and his awliya for love and adoration. That is best for you.
Dr. Aziz Hussein
