I am a fat man in a white suit, I meet this other skinny man in black suit. I keep a snake in a jar, looking for something so I killed people with it. The man says to me “…That snake is gonna turn on you some day” while I say in confusion “How could something this precious hurt me” and the snake looking at me with puppy eyes.
That snake is the evil aspect of your nafs that you continue to nurture, and you know best what that is. Allah knows best. Take the guidance of a Murshid Kamil to save yourself from this disaster.