Dealing with hurt and indirect oppression

Question:

Assalamualaikum,

I have a troubled relationship with my sister, it has increased a lot more lately. I have received indirect and oppressive remarks about my abilities and skills almost all my life from her but right now it is exceeding to a much greater degree than ever before. I want to keep it aside but I’m finding it difficult. I’m unable to feel happy for her ever, which I hate that I’m doing since this is not a behaviour of a mumin. Perhaps its a test but I feel hurt and depressed time to time. I’m afraid I may start ‘hating’ her, which will be a big failure on my part and of course there are my mistakes too. Please guide me as what to do… I don’t want this to creep into my life after I get married and continue to have emotional baggage.
JazakAllah Khair!

Answer:

Alaykum Salam,

Think of death and the grave which is nearer to us than we imagine. Focus on it until it softens your heart and brings forgiveness toward your sister. Then ask Allah strength and protection against tale-bearing (namima) and its like, which is all from shaytan trying to create a wedge. Do this often and every day so that this test will turn to both your advantages in sha Allah.

Hajj Gibril Haddad

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