Long Engagement


Assalamoallaykum Ya Sayedi and Shayukh

I have been engaged for two years and the marriage has been arranged through our parents. Me and my fiance wanted a nikkah soon after but even after two years our wedding date has been set for October 2011. We have been against a long engagement from the beginning but our parents do not understand the concept of nikkah and walima later. We have tried our utmost best to convince them otherwise, but no result. Recently, I watched Mowlana’s sohba on Friday 11th March in which they highlighted Armageddon to start very soon. What should we do in this situation?


wa `alaykum salam,

Once the two have decided to go ahead with the marriage, then the only legal reason to meet after that is to discuss the details of the wedding.

Islamically speaking, the closest thing to engagement is the period after the couple has made the Islamic marriage contract (katbul kitab) before the bride actually moves in with the groom. This period can last as long as the couple wants it to last, because technically they are married, except the marriage has not been officially consummated.

As far as we know our shuyukh recommend not to go with engagement longer than 6 months. I would strongly recommend that you talk to your parents and convince them to give their blessings for your marriage or else they are preventing you from following what is the Islamically correct way.

Imam Senad Agic, Ph.D.
Head Imam (IABNA)
The Islamic Association of Bosniaks in North America

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