Dilema in choosing a wife


Assalaamu 3alaykum,

As I am looking for a wife I’m confronted with a certain social reality: among the salafists I find in my poor working class neighbourhood many modest, practical decent simple minded shari3a binded gloves and niqab wearing salafist who look at their shoes. But generally among sufi women of any tariqa I find many Middle Class diva kind of women who seem to me kind of detached from the cruel reality of life, who are intellenctually elitist and in front of whom I feel belittled in my search for a wife as I am poor. If I ask a salafist to be my wife she will accuse me of shirk. If I ask a sufi, I feel I don’t have enough degrees and money for her. So what do I do?


wa `alaykum salam,

The best answer is given by the Prophet (SAWS):

“The best of your women are those who are bearers of many children, loving, comforting, and tolerant, provided that they have taqwa to Allah. And the worst of your women are those who display their charms, and who walk with arrogance. Such are the hypocrites, and those of them who will enter Heaven are rare as are the red-beaked and red-legged crows.” (Al-Bayhaqi)

Imam Senad Agic
American Islamic Center – Chicago
Majlis #1 Head Imam (IABNA)

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