Question:
Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim,
Asalaam o Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu,
Please forgive me for my bad adab, my wife is emotionally abusing me and I cannot take it any more. We have a 6 month old baby daughter. I have tried to talk to her, but each time she threatens to throw me out or says that I can leave if I want… but then she will say to everyone I abandoned her and our child. She has had mental depression from before I met her. She used to be on drugs and drink. She is a revert to Islam. Please help me, I don’t want to divorce her… but I don’t know what else to do?
Salaam from a very weak servant
Answer:
`Alaykum Salam,
Continue talking softly, use kindness, gifts, sweet behavior. You may
use a Muslim marriage counselor to try to identify the day-to-day issues
you are facing. Your marriage appears to be still very young so you
should try to let it grow and mature more. Recite “Ya Wadud, Ya Haleem”
x1,000 daily to increase love and peace.
Allah Most High guided her to Islam, raised her honor and put her in
your care. It is better for you not to look for excuses to run away. As
the Arabic proverb says: A proof of friendship is for a friend to
swallow bitterness (i.e. be patient with your spouse, who needs you).
Patience with a difficult spouse is a stepladder to sainthood (wilaya)
but the price is heavy, not cheap. So if you feel that you want to carry that
burden you must strengthen your spirit through dhikr, staying with
Awliya day and night and abandoning sin. Try to brace up and be a better
person so that she in turn can be a better person. Then your child and
yourselves will have a better life here and hereafter in sha Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
