Question:
Asalaamualikum,
I’m a sister from UK. I have been married with my husband for 16yrs. He is attractive to men. I have communicated with him and have explained it is zina. He is not changing, he is manipulative, please let me know my rights in Islam.
Answer:
Waalaykumussalam warahmatullah,
Experiencing illicit attraction is not zina but giving in to such attraction to the point of actual sexual intercourse is. If the case is only the former and he still wants to be married with you, then spending more time together to renew your bonds of marital love and trust and to talk might be helpful to remedy the situation. Both of you may seek the help of prayer and visit a Muslim marriage counselor.
If the case is the former but he no longer wants to be married with you, or if the case is the latter (zina), then you can let him know that such is a cause for immense distress to any wife and puts you in an unlivable situation. If he is no longer interested in trying to save your marriage (such as by sincerely repenting and seeing a Muslim marriage counselor) on the basis of the shared space of love, affection and trust on which he initiated it, and is intent on betraying the promise that he made to you in the presence of Allah and witnesses in good faith at the time, then you are in your right to ask him for a divorce. If it reaches that point and he refuses, you have the right to go before a Muslim judge and ask for a divorce unilaterally.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
