Question:

I am married with kids to a woman that I no longer love. I loved who she was, not what she has become. She gambles, backbites, she speaks bad to her friends about my family, my mother, then she pretends to be their best friend. I have spoken to her countless times only starting regular arguments, she then convinces me otherwise. Because of this woman I have slowly cut my family off. I grew to love another woman that has influenced me to make regular namaz, even making Fajr now and i now enjoy getting up for the early morning prayer, she even got me to make peace with my father whom I had a bad relationship with. Do I end my marriage and tell about this new woman in my life or do I stay unhappily married and end my affair that has brought so much good in me spiritually?

Answer:

There is more blessing for you in your sinful wife’s little finger than in a million ones of what you described as your affair even is she prays namaz 24 hours a day. Your patience with your God-given wife is a door to paradise whereas an illegitimate, God-forsaken relationship guarantees cancellation of good deeds. The Prophetic Sunnah in this case advises to look at the good things which captured your heart in the first place and focus on that, and try your best to save your marriage and children from loss. Continue praying, it will put light in your heart, and try and involve your wife also in this excellent path. As for the second woman then make it lawful, either by marrying her or by ending the affair.

Hajj Gibril Haddad