Marriage / Family


Assalamualai’kum WRWB Shaykh,

I have been in a relationship with a man for nearly four years and we decided to take this relationship to another level which is marriage. Apparently, my parents objects my relationship with him as he is out of my race (but he is a Muslim). Can you give me advices or better, surah related to this situation?

Jazakallah Khairan


The Prophet (s) said, la farqa bayna `arabiyy wa la `ajamiyy illa bi ‘t-taqwa, “There is no difference between an Arab and a non-Arab except by righteousness.”

The Prophet (s) himself married from many different nations and tribes, including a Jewish lady, Umm al-Muminoon Safiyya, and scholars say one of the reasons for this was to create family ties with all these nations and tribes and in doing so fulfills the verse:

{O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you.} (al-Hujurat 49:13)

All these tribes were granted by Allah to know the Prophet (s) through marriage ties for he is the epitome and the azimuth of those described in this verse as “the most righteous of you”.

Ibn Kathir says:

Several scholars relied on this holy verse and the holy Hadiths we mentioned as evidence that compatibility in marriage is not a condition of marriage contracts. They said that the only condition required in this regard is the adherence to the religion, as in the statement of Allah, the Exalted, {Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you.} (al-Hujurat 49:13)

In fact some mufassirun say this verse was revealed after the Opening of Mecca, when the Prophet (s) ordered Sayyidina Bilal to ascend the Ka`ba and call the adhan for the first time therein and on seeing this, newly converted Quraysh tribesman, in arrogance said, “Could not the Messenger of Allah find anyone better than this black crow?” while another hadith says it was revealed when the Prophet (s) ordered one of his Companions, who was a former slave to marry from an honored tribe (Bani al-Bayada) and the family complained, “Do you marry our daughters to their former slaves?”, and  in this is an indication that lineage is not a factor in deciding equity in marriage, rather what should be considered are religion, piety, ancestry, good character and just dealing.

And Allah knows best,

Taher Siddiqui

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