Question:
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Bara Katu,
To all my brothers and friends from the tariqah, and to our Lovely and Respectable Shaykh Haqqani Allah’s Mercy and Blessing upon him, and on all Mashayikhs.
My Lovely Respected and Peaceful Shaykh, Assalam Alaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatu. I was searching since 4 years to be guided and refine my self and repent and in this I have gone through different tariqahs, I am from [private] and I started my journey from Wahabis as in my house there was no distinction between Wahabis and Sunnis, so from my childhood I was going some times to Wahabis and some times to Ahle Sunna, but in just an year I realized that the Wahabis have no thing that can lead a person to Allah SWT and Rasool Allah SAS, then I moved to Ahle Sunna and the [private] Tariqa, and here I learnt Qur’an and Hadith for three years, but at the end of third year I found that the [private] Tariq’s followers here are just dividing the Muslims even the Ahle Sunnah by saying every one munafiq and kafir who disobey or deny them. So my own teacher who himself… a few of my friends starts saying calling me munafiq and kafir, for an example one of my friend saw a day dream that he and me are praying on the right hand opposite to Qibla and he asked a Mufti the dream interpretation so the Mufti said that my friend will be safe (who is viewer of the dream) but the friend of the dreamer means me will be going to be a kafir soon. When I heard this interpretation I just left them, and I just went only to their mosque for Jumma Prayer and pray my all prayers at home till now.
I found the Eshaykh web site and by asking some questions on it and got perfect answers so I decided to join this Tariqa the Naqshbandi, and then I started doing my daily awrad (initiated one) and after 15 days there was Ramazan month start. I moved to the Awrad of the Prepared and till now I am doing it on daily. But I feel that I am a really very bad person and some times when I analyze my self I feel that I am really a munafiq because I feel now that I am become a munafiq I don’t know how in early days I cry when I hear the praise of my Beloved Prophet Muhammad SAS’s. Now when I recite any thing like Qur’an or salat or Dalail ul Khairat I hear a voice from inside that all this is a lie or I am lying by reciting these, so I feel I have become a munafiq (maybe) by my bad character or by some curse. Now I am with complete sincerity and power Allah has granted I am giving my hand in the hand of Shaykh and pray that he will lead me to the right path and will make me a True Believer and Lover of Allah and Rasool Allah SAS again and will help me get closer and love of Allah and Rasool Allah SAS too, so they both LOVE ME LIKE THEY LOVE THE SHAYKH and forgive me. Aameen.
Answer:
`Alaykum Salam,
You are on the right path. Sahaba and Awliya also worried about their own iman and that is proof of iman. Continue even if you do not experience emotion as before, and your reward and progress is higher, in sha Allah. Mercy and success are from Allah Most High so do not worry.
Hajj Gibril Haddad
