I have been in a state of despair and don’t know what to do. I’m from England. Going back years i was a murid of shaykh Nazim, but due to the shaykh that was teaching us he differences with shaykh Nazim and he took us mureeds of the path of Moulana. I think since then everything has just not gone right. I got married and have a son. We have had many argument to the extent of me leaving and moving in with my mother. It has been several years that I have not lived with her. I do go and see her give her money and I spend time with my son. The love that I had for her has gone. I do however care for her but that is all. In the time that I left her I met a girl.
She is just a friend at the moment. I really do love this girl. Her family do not wish for her to marry me. The parents of that girl do come and see us but only as friends, she is everything that i have always wanted. She has been to Hajj she is always observing halal and haram, she is very caring and family orientated. She is a 5 times praying girl. The best part is that she gets on with my mother. Also everything that I try and do does not go well in business. I am experiencing very bad financial difficulty. Whatever I try in business it goes wrong. I am paralyzed on the left side and suffer from epilepsy. I had a blood clot when I was blank years of age which caused the paralysis and after that I have been suffering with epilepsy.
Leave the other shaykh and do not ever mention his name again. Renew your Bay’ah here if you wish to. We are very connected now with eshaykh.com, Sufilive.com, Naqshbandi.org, Sunnah.org that can provide you with guidance. Go and see Mawlana Shaykh Nazim in Cyprus if you can, if not, make a point to see Shaykh Hisham whenever he goes to the UK. Stick to these and you will be all right.
You have a child. From your description you are still married to your wife, the mother of your son. Go back to your wife. Try to reconcile for his future. There is always hope it will succeed if you only try. Recite Ya Halim and Ya Wadud 100-300x daily. Do this as a priority before anything else, Insha Allah, Mawlana Shaykh Hisham will pray for you.