Question:
I know that husbands and wives have rights over one another for sexual relations. Throughout the course of my marriage, I have remained committed to being available to my husband in this regard, no matter what. However, it seems that it has been an increasing struggle for him to reciprocate. I tried to treat the issue with a balance of patience and gentle reminders of my needs. However, over time, several weeks could pass and if I said nothing, he would not approach me to come together at all.
Eventually he agreed that certain days of the week would be designated for relations. However, even with that he is being neglectful. He says that he often forgets things, but even when I remind him “what day it is” sometimes the day passes without us being together. I feel like I am becoming a nag about it, but it seems that whether I say something or say nothing the result is the same. Is it just me, or shouldn’t he have some type of Taqwah of Allah on this issue, as women must?
Answer:
According to Shari`ah he should respond to you. If he is sick or has a sexual weakness, he should treat it, or he should,
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
a’ashiruhuna bil Maarouf aw
فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ
either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; (At-Talaq, 65:2)
But if you could be patient Allah will award you in akhirah. My advice to you is be cool, and ignore him, and give it all to Allah’s Hands.
Hajjah Naziha Adil
