Istikhara for marriage

Question:

Assalaamualaikum

I’m new to this website and was wondering if you can help regarding marriage. My parents give caste great importance, and I recently fell in love with a boy who is of a different caste and he too is in love with me and we both wish to get married. I was wondering if you can do a istikhara to find out if what im doing is right and should I continue to be with him.

Thank you

Answer:

audhu billah mina ‘sh-shaytani ‘r-rajeem,

Bismillahi ‘r-Rahmani ‘r-Raheem,

wa `alaykum salam,
It is a difficult although all too common situation. Islamically, faith and piety are the primary criteria in evaluating a marriage partner. Socio-economic status (meaning similar backgrounds or in your case caste) are also a consideration but taqwa is most important for both the potential bride and groom. If you marry for faith and Allah’s pleasure, insha-Allah the marriage will be blessed and a source of happiness.

Unfortunately, many parents are too picky, rejecting good matches for years until marrying their now older daughter becomes more difficult. If you and the young man are both happy with each other, try to involve your parents and let them see how your happiness might be sacrificed by them rejecting a good suitor.

وَيَعْبُدُونَ مِن دُونِ اللَّهِ مَا لَا يَمْلِكُ لَهُمْ رِزْقًا مِّنَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ شَيْئًا وَلَا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ

{And worship others than Allah,- such as have no power of providing them, for sustenance, with anything in heavens or earth, and cannot possibly have such power?} Surat an-Nahl 16:73

Dr. Karim Tourk

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Istikhara for marriage