Salaamu Alaiykum, I embraced Islam from Christianity in 2009. I told my mother immediate after and she rejected the idea and told me i have to convert back. My father asked me if i had converted and when i responded ‘yes’ he told me to change my surname and never come back home. My mother asked me to trick him by telling him that i will give up Islam, and that is what i have done. I have since moved back home, however my father has stated that anybody in the family that converts can consider themselves out of the family and has also threatened to kill such a person. I still practice Islam secretly, however i feel as if i have failed Allah’s test and had i been patient he would have resolved the problem for me. Can you give me some advice?.
wa `alaykum salam,
Mawlana Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani will pray for your situation to get better.
Your mother has the secret of faith within, as shown by her good advice to you. You have not failed, rather you did what some Companions of the Prophet (s) did to avoid persecution and what many born-Muslims today do in order to keep employment, etc. Safety and security is first priority, so keep your Islam secret, and pray for an opening. If you don’t have a shaykh, take baya` (initiation) to Mawlana Shaykh Muhammad Nazim al-Haqqani at the Naqshbandi.org website.