Question:
Assalamu aleikum!
I haven’t found the answer to these 2 questions in shariat so I want to ask you:
1. sexual fantasies (thoughts) – I haven’t found in shariat that they are forbidden and sinful (to non-mahrams) because Islam forgives uncommitted sins that stay only in mind but still I have some doubts because Christianity forbids even to think about sex considering it a sin. I try to restrain myself from them. But in other hand supressing and eradicating sexual instinct given to people to create a family may be sinful too, isn’t it?
2. Love to giaour guys – I have grown up in a non-Muslim environment (Russians, Jews, Greeks, Armenians) and sometimes fell in love to some of them but of course never revealed it to them. Was it a sin if I had no intention to date with them?
Answer:
Salam Alaikum,
1. Please note that Sharia only concerns actions and not thoughts or fantasies. Sharia defines actions into categories such as prohibited (haram), permitted (halal), mustahab (preferred), fard (mandatory), etc. But all these categories refer to actions or activities and not thoughts or desires. So someone can desire or intend to do a prohibited act, but then reconsider and not commit it. In such a case, in fact, Allah rewards that person for not committing the prohibited act.
However, that being said, it is of course not healthy nor beneficial to busy oneself with thoughts and fantasies about haram. In order for a person to progress spiritually we must make an effort to remove these thoughts and focus our energy into useful and permitted acts.
Sexual instinct is natural and a gift given to us by Allah. However, we are required to restrain these desires and direct them into a permitted relationship, a marriage that will benefit both parties physically as well as spiritually. If we direct our sexual energy into marriage, it increases our love to our spouse and elevates both parties spiritually. Allah has decreed that we marry and has granted us affection and intimacy so that we may find peace and comfort.
2. As mentioned above, thoughts and desires are only considered sinful if acted out. If you did not do any haram activities with these men then there is no sin against you, hamdulillah.
We are blessed with a merciful religion revealed to our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) who is a mercy to all mankind.
And Allah and His Prophet know best.
Hajj Khalid Aboulela
