Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dear knowledgeable ones! I am seeing you blessed and at peace in your life. You are enjoying living.
While I am going through shakes in my life. I am isolated due to situation so loneliness and worries about problems I am facing. So I am now asking myself what can I do to reach peace and tranquility like you? And I am wondering am I cursed by Allah and Is Allah angry with me? When will it stop? What does it take? Patience?
I do not want to die in this way but I hope I live and die with Allah pleased with me I see that i am wrong one but can I change who I am? I still make mistake that usually others don’t. I feel this life very heavy and the will of living is nearly lost. I am feeling weak with myself.
Mawlana always says we are all in the same boat and that dhikr is essential to keep afloat. So let us be with the holy ones not only with our emotions but also with our intentions and deeds by trying to follow their advice. If you took bayaa already then do the daily dhikr for beginners as described on naqshbandi.org and try and follow the suhbas on sufilive.com so that you build up your strength insha Allah.
Hajj Gibril Haddad