BRR. Salam aleikum Ya Sayyidi! I’m afraid nafs is too much a tricky one, and fear not really getting nearer our Lord’s pleasure with our actions. Muhasabah brings up so many bad characteristics (it is difficult to stand up with constancy) and even this I am not sure. I really see me as a true oppressor. I sometimes feel depressed, other times only desiring deeply to just vanish in Him or our master. I understand our Way won’t give me anything. Please pray for us. That we can always give those near us what they need, and make us able to give back only sweetness, far away from our nafs, living true Islam, really loving our blessed Prophet (s). Want to be a muklis. Astaghfirullah. Allah bless you and give you strength and more and more unknown treasures. We love you.
wa `alaykum salam,
Insha-Allah you will be mukhlis. Of course, the nafs is bad; everyone is suffering from that. May Allah protect us.
Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani