im 18 yearsold from uk, i’ve been readin daroode khizri for about a year 10 000 timesdaily, alhamdulilla. and my problem/vasvasa is that when i read the darood shareef, i can read about 4 in one second alhamdullla. and it feels as thow imnot pronouncing it properly, Islow down but then after one tasbeeh go back tothe fastspeed, feel asthow my quality of reading darood isnot ther, and dontfeel like sending incomplete darood onthe holy Messenger salalahualeyhiwasallam, alhamdulilla the messenger of Allah salalahualeyhiwasallam lisen to our salwat but feel imnot doing the adab by readin fast, attimes ilook at my speed and be amazed that how come this fast im reading, when i ask some sufis they say the sheikhs in the past reading so fast and its thai al lisaan, but think to myself im newly baith and a sinner how can my speed go fast along with quality,
Have patience. Please see the post, Tay al- lisan…
`Urwah ibn Az-Zubair said:
I saw `Umar ibn al-Khattab carrying upon his shoulder a water container. I said, “O Prince of the believers, this is something which does not befit you.” He said to me: “When the delegations came to me listening and obeying, my ego felt some self-gratification, so I decided to break it.”
The same happens when the self-projected delegations of self-gratification and pride enter the heart of the servant who is trying to come closer to Allāh , through much prayers, meditation and worship during the early hours before dawn. The self projects itself to the servant in the image of a pious worshiper. This will cause him to forget his Lord and follow his desires. He will become complacent and content with his ego, the same way that Adam felt towards the devil, and this is the hidden danger. When pleasure enters into worship, know it is due to the whispers of Satan in the heart. So, run far away from it.
If you manage to escape from such worship, you will enter into the bottomless oceans of Sayyīdinā Muħammad (s) that combine the light of the Essence and the secret which flows from the rest of the Names and Attributes. These oceans will carry you, then dip you, and then drown you in the oceans of Uniqueness. It will then lift you out of the mud of Oneness . This is what happened to Sayyīdinā Bilāl when he was being tortured. He was at the Station of Witnessing, the Station of the Gnostics, calling, “Ahad! Ahad! One! One!” After that these oceans open for you their hidden vaults, they will plunge you into the core of the ocean of Oneness, until you can no longer hear, no longer see, no longer feel anything except your Lord, your Prophet and your shaykh, who is the life of your soul and his soul, the secret of your reality and his reality, the collective accumulation of Gnostic knowledge. All this comes from breaking the ego with humbleness, as Sayyīdinā Umar ibn al-Khattāb did.
[excerpted from Fifty Days, by Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani]