Wisdom of gratefulness


I once heard Mawlana Nazim say”Allah SWT loves most the grateful ones first and then the patient ones”.I am afraid of falling into sin of ungratefulness. Especially once I get married, I fear being one of the women the Beloved Nabi SAW mentioned to be in Hellfire most. Also,I wish to attain Allah SWT love.
Hence, I am asking this question -can you explain the wisdom of being grateful? How I can become one of the grateful ones (via any particular zikr, inculcating a particular habit etc?).
I try to be grateful as much as I can, but sometimes, I hear my ego say “why am I doing so? Look at other people, they are happy w/o being that grateful”. I want to put an end to this. And sometimes I wonder, am I truly grateful to Allah SWT and want to earn His love? Please clear the concepts for me. JazakAllah.

wa `alaykum salam,
You are able to diagnose the ill behavior of your ego and that is a big step even if it is still not under your control. So continue struggling, and the way to reduce its harm permanently is by building up the regularity of dhikr by tongue and by heart insha-Allah. Read the chapter on gratitude in the Risala Qushayriyya and meditate on some of its wonders.

Hajj Gibril Haddad

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