I hope this reaches you in the best of health and states In Sha Allah Rahman. I have been in touch with a potential partner and wanted to ask a few of questions please.
I am following the Hanafi Madhab and she is following the Maliki madhab. Are we allowed to exchange mobile phone numbers so that we may speak briefly on the phone as it is easier than messaging?
Also we both want to meet, what are the rulings pertaining to this situation. Can we meet alone but in a public place out in the open where there is no risk of any fitna. Or does she have to have a chaperone and do I? If so does the chaperone have to be a family member or can it be friends etc?
I am 2_ years old and she is 2_, my father has passed away so I don’t really know where to look for advice, but I do know I want to get married so I am saved from sin In Sha Allah Rahman, so I am serious.
I am trying my best to practice Islam, it has been two years and I hope I can do my best to perfect my deen and character constantly but I am not perfect whatsoever but I would like the sane sort of person, who is trying. But how can I judge a woman? In reality I will only find out what she is like after spending a few months with her whilst being married?
Jazak Allahu Khayr
wa `alaykum salam,
Madhhabs do not matter, what is important is taqwa, fear of Allah.
You may exchange phone numbers of course and emails, but conversations must be with full taqwa, and adab, good manners.
You may meet in a public place with one chaperone from either side. Chaperone can be a friend or family member. You may sit separately with her to talk or walk with the chaperones at a distance as Mawlana Shaykh would often have marriage candidates go for a walk together.
Avoid altogether being alone with her or any situation which might smell of impropriety.
The best way to judge a woman is to get her references and her family’s references, especially from others in the community known to be pious, her imam, teachers and if she has a Shaykh, her Shaykh.
If you follow a Tariqah, once you feel you have a good match, you should get final approval from your Shaykh.