Selamun Aleyhkum, I made dua for marrying a particular man for many years who got married to somebody else. I was told that dua can change destiny but mine didn’t. I know it is not like accounting but what happened to my duas? Are they wasted?
Wa `alaykum salam
Your Du`a is not wasted by no means. However making Du`a has conditions and rules which if not followed may cause your Du`a not to be accepted.
Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani mentioned the conditions of making an acceptable du`a in the video series “Islamic Healing” some of which we have summarized here:
The Etiquette of Asking Allah
- Fear Allah in all His commands and prohibitions.
Allah swt said:
وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ
“...And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him (Taqwa), He will make a way for him, to get out (from every difficulty), and will provide for him from sources that he never could imagine…” [At-Talaaq:2-3]
If not we risk our Du`a because we are asking Allah for something but what He asked us we have refused to do.
- To be in state of purity (taharah).
- To sit facing qiblah.
- To praise Allah and thank Him.
- To make salawaat on the Prophet (s).
- Begin your du`a:
To enter in the Divine Presence of Allah (swt) so that the Door will be opened, you must first read, “Bismillahi ‘r-Rahmaani ‘r-Raheem alhamdulillahi rabbi ‘l-`alameen wa ‘s-salaatu wa ‘s-salaamu `alaa ashrafi ‘l-mursaleen Sayyidina Muhammadin wa `alaa aalihi wa sahbihi ajma`een,” then make your du`a.
- End your du`a:
Finish with, “Subhaana rabbika rabbi ‘l-`izzati `ammaa yasifoon wa salaamun `alaa ‘l-mursaleen wa ‘l-hamdulillahi rabbi ‘l-`alameen. Rabbana taqabbal minna bi hurmati man anzalta `alayhi sirri Surat al-Fatihah.”
Close with Fatiha
After completing your du`a, read Surat al-Fatihah, as the Prophet (s) said:
الْفَاتِحَةُ لِمَا قُرِئَتْ لَهُ
“The Fatihah is for whatever it is read.”
- Wrap your du`a with charity
After thanking Allah, praising the Prophet (s), asking the means of Prophet, coming to Divine Presence, entering and asking through Allah’s Beautiful Names and Attributes and through His Oneness, now the key point is to end it with sadaqa. Finished! For a du`a to be accepted, you must bring a sadaqa in front of (to precede) your du`a. You have to give before or after the du`a, as Allah (swt) said to the Prophet (s):
خُذْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ صَدَقَةً تُطَهِّرُهُمْ وَتُزَكِّيهِم بِهَا وَصَلِّ عَلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ صَلاَتَكَ سَكَنٌ لَّهُمْ وَاللّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
Take alms of their wealth, from which you may purify them and make them grow, and pray for them. Verily, your prayer is an assuagement for them. Allah is Hearer, Knower. (Surat at-Tawbah, 9:103)
Then it is the responsibility of the Prophet (s) to purify and clean them and then pray and ask on their behalf. [That is one of the the meanings of intercession.]
- Seek someone pious to make du`a
Du`a done in the way that we described will never be rejected! This way du`a is accepted immediately and if you give no charity, you don’t know if it will be accepted.