Question:
Salamualykum, I have to add some information before telling, so I am sorry if it gets a bit long. One night a few months ago my alarm went off for qiyamut- layt and my nafs got me and I didn’t get up, then I also didn’t get up for fajr too and when I awoke which was an hour after sunrise I felt bad, as I had missed my qiyamut-layt, fajr and also my dhikr that I do after, so I did my routine late and during my dhikr I was in a state which is hard to explain, but I wasn’t sleeping, it felt like maybe a vision.
In this vision I was in the presence of Allah (swt) and his 3 holy Prophets, Sayyidina Ibrahim, Isa and Muhammad peace be upon them all. Allah asked his 3 noble prophets that what should he do with this person? (I am guessing it is me but I don’t know.) Ibrahim and Isa (as) replied “Let him into Paradise!” And Muhammed replied “Let him experience a second of hellfire!” I was worried to hear this and in my head I thought what is 1 second in hellfire? And it was like the Prophets knew what I was thinking and they seemed to be talking to themselves and said that 1 second of hellfire is the same as 82 weeks. After they said this I jolted up into reality and the set time of my dhikr that I do was over. I would like an explanation of this state I was in, I know I am not knowledgeable to understand these things, sorry to burden you with this, Jazakallah khrayn and salam.
Answer:
Wa `alaykum salam,
BismiLlahi ‘r-Rahmani ‘r-Raheem wa salaat `ala Nabiyy. Our models for our behavior in such matters are our masters, our Shaykhs, in their khalwats. I was told by Mawlana Shaykh Nazim that Grandshaykh Abdullah was single minded in his zikr, such that if visions came to him he would dismiss them and return to his zikr. Until the ego is gone – and we are very far from that condition – there is no spirituality. What appears to us is only a reflection of ourselves.
Maulana Shaykh Nazim once took the beads from my hands while I was making zikr and waved them in my face, saying, “These are only means! They are not targets in themselves!” We think our doings are important – they are not! You felt bad because you missed Fajr. OK, we all do from time to time. Man was created weak. Say astagfirLlah, and move on. The goal is to be nothing.
Maulana Shaykh Hisham once said regarding the ayat in Surah Fajr (89:24), “Yaqoolu yaalaytani qaddamtu li hayaati!”
“When a person becomes aware that he neglected what he promised to his Lord on the Day of Promises, that feeling of regret and remorse will be so intense that if you were to put that servant into hellfire at that moment, he wouldn’t feel the fire!”
Also, it is said that shaytan, who was so happy that it made that servant lose his prayer, becomes frustrated and angry when the servant repents! Perhaps that servant’s repentance is more lovely to the Lord than the original prayer would have been! It might be that this was what the Messenger, peace be upon him, was indicating to you. And Allah knows better and best, wa RasouluLlah sallaLlahu alayhi wa salaam.
Again salaam.
Abdul Haqq
