Anger in the household

Question:

Asalaam Alaykum
Just before we married my wife accepted Islam and received bayat with Shaykh Nazim. Within the first few months she renounced Islam and began to fight me over the amount of time I spent in devotions. She has taken a very disdainful attitude towards Islam and Tariqa. She despises the reverence I have for my Shaykh. I have had a very difficult time being an affectionate husband because of the way she speaks to me about the issues upsetting her. I have not provided for my family as they deserve. When she is upset over something she raises her voice and begins to use profanity. I walk away and she pursues me through the house. Just over a week ago I took hold of her with force. She called the police and they arrested me.
Please give us advice that we can receive Baraka and heavenly support.

Answer:

wa `alaykum salam!

Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “yassir wa la tu`assir, bashiru wa la tu nafiru!”  Make the way easy for people, not difficult, make them happy – don’t drive them away (from Islam)!  Also, “marriage is one-half the religion, (then) look after the other half!”  Without knowing both of you, it is difficult to advise, but this looks like a case of your disregard for your wife’s feelings, being that she is new to Islam.  Try your best to make peace – perhaps there is a mutual friend who could help to mediate your differences.  Mawlana Shaykh (Allah ta`ala blesses him) used to advise newly married husbands in your situation to try to make your wife happy first, then turn to your devotions.

Abdul Haqq

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