As Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Sayyidi Mawlana Shaykh Hisham. We know from hadiths of our beloved Prophet (saw) that marriage is half our deen. However, if one does not live in a Muslim country, does not have family around to help, and moreover wants his/her spouse to be in tariqa (or at least tolerant of tariqa), finding someone suitable for marriage becomes almost an impossible task. As a last resort, people these days end up trying to connect with others online, which is neither reliable nor feels right in the heart.
1. Sayyidi, what is your advice on how one should try?
(Similar to the eshaykh site, if there was a way for people to connect through your direct supervision and guidance for marriage, that would be very helpful. Although, I understand this is a big request astagfirullah)
2. Is there a wazifa one should recite?
wa `alaykum salam,
You dont need to have a wife who is in tariqah. If you find, alhamdulillah. But if not, if you find someone pious, sincere and can accept advice and you marry her, slowly slowly she might accept what you accept from tariqah. Tariqah is not a must for mureeds. You might sit in front of the Shaykh and listen and don’t take tariqah. You can learn from him. That means you can take her, advise her and she can listen, but it’s not necessary to take baya`. You might not find a mureed in your area. Sometimes Shaytan comes in that excuse in order to make you not to marry as soon as possible to save your religion. Marriage is half of religion in order to protect you from doing haram. In today’s time, marriage is the whole religion because it saves you from falling into too many problems. The Prophet (s) said, “marriage is my way, an-nikahu sunnatee fa man raghiba `an sunnatee fa laysa minnee”. So in that hadith, marriage is the whole way of sunnah. So go ahead and find someone to marry. Later Allah will open her mind for tariqah.
These websites, to me, I consider them webistes of fitna that allow girls and boys to exchange all kinds of bad things. It might go to the point of exchanging naked picutres. So it is a type of bad desires. Although some people find someone on the internet, but it’s only after navigating the whole internet and seeing all kinds of bad pictures. So “eShaykh” is not going to be a site for matching. There is a website for matching that we recommend, as it is supervised. It is www.sufilovematch.com and many mureeds are there. C’est tres bon. People today are so picky; this one has pimple on her toes, this one is not tall enough – too many objections. That is Shaytan playing.
Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani