Question:
I have taken baya about five years ago. I have managed to regularize awrad after Asr, all salah with azkhar up to the surah with “gifting”, and usually manage fajr. Also over intiate awrad. I have a reputation for defending ahl al-sunna and have organized an interfaith and dzikr evening at university. I have found it difficult to continue and have found that I am being guided towards marriage. It has been difficult. I was recently introduced to a good girl and honoured the process. She was very good for me but I felt in the istikhara it was guiding away from her. I followed the istikhara.
Now I am doing unchaste actions and missing salah, no dzikr and hardly any spiritual power. Rabita broken and depressed. I am a convert to Islam and feel a loser.
I have planned to give myself to spirituality for three years after studies.
Answer:
That is because you left that lady. Marriage is half of religion. You were doing well according to Allah and the Prophet (s). They sent you this lady as reward and then you end up in problems. So try to go back to her if you find her available.
Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani
