What is the cause of all this anger in me?
Prophet told Sayyidina Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (r) “al-ghadab kufr – anger is unbelief.” So Shaytan is behind it, trying to bring people to kufr through spreading anger between human beings.
When I was twenty-two, studying chemistry in the university, out of love to Grandshaykh at that time, my brother and I went regularly from Beirut to Damascus, which took two hours. One day, it was five o’clock in evening, and I had a big exam the next day, but I said, “I am going to visit Grandshaykh to get his du`a for my test.” My mother stopped us, saying, “No, you cannot go. You have an exam tomorrow!” So she said, “Don’t go!” and I said, “I’m going!”, back and forth, and then we quarreled. She got upset. I took the car keys and drove all the way to Damascus.
In front of Mawlana’s house there are small steps you have to go up to knock at the door, then you have to go upstairs, then there is his room inside. Mawlana Shaykh would never come down from upstairs. That night we arrived and went up those little steps to press the bell, and he opened the door even before we rang it! He said, “Go back to where you came from, don’t come here with anger. Go and make your mother happy, then come.” How did they know? That is another question. Who told them? He did not say it in a nice way, he shouted with harsh words and gave us a very hard time, and slammed the door on my face! So we went back and our mother was happy, the next day we got an “A+” on the exam and she said, “Now go,” so we went back to Damascus and it was the same: Grandshaykh was at the door, opened it and said, “Now come in,” and he took us up.
He said, “I will tell you this one time only, I am not repeating this another time! By permission of Prophet (s), awliyaullah look at their mureeds a minimum of three times in twenty-four hours. They try to look at them with mercy and with a teaching; they are not going to put diapers, but their looks are going to be tests, not candy! So whenever you face a test in the day, remember your shaykh is looking at you by the order of the Prophet (s). I look at you and your brother a minimum of three times a day, so when I send a test, make sure you don’t get angry!”
Prophet (s) said to Sayyidina Abu Bakr Siddiq (r), al-ghadab is kufr, ghadab (anger) is like unbelief, because it makes you to not accept even salloo `alaa an-nabi. When angry you might say, “Salloo `alayh” to calm down, and you might say something not nice in regard to the Prophet (s). So I am telling you, ‘Don’t get angry.’” From that time on, we tried our best not to get angry. Sometimes they would say, “You don’t have ahsaas, any feelings! I am speaking to you and you are like a crocodile, with no feelings; answer me!” He wants to fight, (and you say) “Don’t bother”, then Allah will be happy.”
So keep cool and that will defeat shaytan.
Shaykh Hisham Kabbani