Request:
AssalamuAlaikum, I have a disease in my heart and do not know what to do anymore I’m like in a big battle/fight .those constant dirty,ill,bad thoughts showing up every time in anything worship and iman loading related situations.I am doing obligatory and voluntary worship.
Now i am in the worst state ever because it is attacking everything i want to really fear,love and highly respect. Allah(swt),the Prophet (sav) his family his companions,righteous believers. i am seeking refuge from my own evilness, respectless and wretched self in Allah(swt),making salawat ,slapping myself,biting myself,taking wudu with ice cold water to wake up and stop this mess i am doing. but it is so hard to get out that clingy thought out of my head. i don’t want this i want to be a fearful strong believer.please pray for me and my family for a stronger fear,faith and iman.Wa AssalamuAlaikum,thank you.
Response:
wa `alaykum salam,
Shaykh Ahmad ibn Abi’l-Hawari said, “I complained to Shaykh Abu Sulayman ad-Darani about the whisperer. He said, “If you want him to leave you alone, then whenever you sense him at any moment, rejoice. If you rejoice, he will leave you alone since Shaytan hates nothing so much as the joy of the believer. If you are distressed by that, it will increase.” (al-Jawahir al-Hisan)
Mawlana Shaykh Muhammad Hisham Kabbani teaches that when a person is afflicted by constant dirty thoughts, especially attacking those whom Allah loves, this is known as the “Colored-Station”, Maqam at-Talween. In that station the seeker is constantly changing “color”. Shaykh Hisham teaches that the Shaykh is cleaning the heart of the murid of accumulated filthy layers and as the filth is removed, it passes through the heart like a whisper. At that time, Mawlaha Shaykh Hisham teaches, one must say istagfirullah and be careful not to follow the evil thought, but with that istighfar, seek forgiveness and let it go. By that means the effects will go down, insha-Allah. And Allah knows best.
Shaykh Hisham writes in The Sufi Science of Self-Realization:
{Be pious and sincere and God will teach you.} (Suratu ’l-Baqarah, 2:282). If you fail to learn through sincerity and piety, you will be lost, unable to cross the jungle of your negativity. Sometimes in the jungle, the trees grow very close together and space is so cramped that you cannot even move—the way is very difficult.
Guides do not block the whispers of your devils. They want you to develop your ability to block those whispers yourself. When you finally reach the level of a true disciple, then they will block the whispers. A true disciple is like a receiver for the shaykhs; they see through his eyes, they hear with his ears, they act with his hands.
In the presence of the Guide, countless dark insinuations come to the heart; he causes all these gossips to “upload”. They get uplifted from the heart and purged.
To bring your heart back to its original purity the spiritual guide will “reformat your hard drive.” The data of old sins will be purged, but in the process these will come across the screen of your consciousness. In order not to be bogged down by these negative images from the past, the student must keep reciting, “I seek God’s forgiveness (astaghfirullah)” for as long as the sinister thoughts remain.
Taher Siddiqui
