Asking a shaykh to decide on one’s marriage


This is about other tariqa but affected people include naqshbandi mureeds. There is a rising trend for people to go and make their initial decisions on whether to marry a girl or guy. Both sides meet up, see each other, talk etc etc. After all that happens, one side claims their final decision will be based on their shaykh’s decision.

Firstly I have seen sometimes the shaykhs informing the marriage mustnt take place and that the couple will split or wont be happy or will be happy in the beginning but split later. The side that consults then abandons the marriage preparation. Shouldnt these families and individuals be seeking the decision of their shaykhs BEFORE meeting the prospective bridegroom/bride and other side?

Secondly this is giving rise to people wanting to predict outcome of marriage before deciding on marriage. Please advice on how to deal with this emerging trend.


wa `alaykum salam,

The best is to consult the Shaykh before marriage. Whether in beginning, middle or end of the process, if one consults the Shaykh then one should follow his advice. A trend where people are seeking the consult of the Shaykh is not to be discouraged.

Shaykhs’ job is not to make prediction. It is to advise, naseeha, and guide the mureeds. In marriage, as in all other affairs, there is no guarantee, but consulting the Shaykh should help give the best result. Then it is up to the couple to make it work and not just depend on the Shaykh’s baraka and act badly towards each other.

Taher Siddiqui

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