I am extremely confused, by many things including this religion which has become convoluted to me. I do not know what is my purpose, in tariqa, as the devotions are impossible to follow permanently, and in this life as I find life depressing so that I do not want to involve myself in it.
I come from parents that had some influence on mainstream culture and I thought I could be of positive use. But guidance has left me feeling like I am of no use to anybody, and that relying on Allah is also too much of a feat to achieve.
I am not married and that also seems out of reach, due to my misplaced self.
Please pray for me and I am asking for some real support.
As Salaam alaikum,
May real support reach you, dear brother. The fact that you are reaching for prayer and guidance is a good thing. The fact is that we are living in confusing times and many, many (if not all) people are affected. If you are not feeling well or healthy, keep seeking out a means to experience balance and well being.
In your heart, mind, dua, ask the intercession of the Prophet (saws) and seek a means to help others by charity, visiting the sick, making another life better in any way you can. Don’t despair from the Mercy of Allah! Keeping small devotions consistently is better than carrying too much and dropping it.
May Allah bless and support you through the honor of His Beloved Prophet Muhammad (saws)