Question:
Can you change your fate through prayer? For instance, a man that I have loved for years. If I pray enough, will Allah change my fate and give me the man that I have prayed for?And is it wrong to pray for a specific person for marriage?
Answer:
Allah swt says:
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِي سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ
But your Sustainer says: “Call unto Me, [and] I shall respond to you! Verily, they who are too proud to worship Me will enter hell, abased!” (al-Ghafir, 40:60)
In fact this ayah shows that it is mainly pride which prevents many of humankind from humbling themselves before Allah and asking Him for their needs and wants.
If prayer did not change the destiny what benefit would it be?
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَنتُمُ الْفُقَرَاء إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ
“O mankind! It is you who stand as beggars in your relation to Allah, and it is Allah Who is Free of all wants, Worthy of all praise. (Surat al-Fatir, 35:15)
In hadith we find that the the Prophet (s) came across a community of people going through a tribulation. He advised, “Why don’t they supplicate (make dua) to Allah for assistance?”
Finally, to directly address your question is the hadith of the Prophet (s) found in many books, including Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad ibn Hanbal’s Musnad:
ثَوْبَانَ ، قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ : لا يَرُدُّ الْقَدَرَ إِلا الدُّعَاءُ وَلا يُزِيدُ فِي الْعُمْرِ إِلا الْبِرَّ , وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُحْرَمُ الرِّزْقَ بِالذَّنْبِ يُصِيبُهُ .
The Prophet (s) said, “Verily, Divine Decree is not changed except through praying (dua) and long life is not gained but by kindness and committing sins deprives man of his sustenance.”
There is no “guarantee” a dua will be answered, but the best chance for it to be answered are:
- to have halal earnings,
- to avoid forbiddens,
- to keep Allah’s obligations,
- to begin your dua with Glorification of Allah and sending Blessings on His Prophet (s) and end it in the same manner,
- to precede your request with a sadaqa, no matter how small,
- to persist in your dua with certain knowledge that Allah is able to grant your request,
- know if you don’t receive what you asked, Allah will grant you something better in its place or reward you in the Hereafter for your your persistent faith,
Since many of us don’t fulfill these conditions we turn to someone who does, pious and salih and seek their du`a for us. As well we beseech Allah through the means (mediation/tawassul) of such sincere believers.
As for your last question, see the Post “Wazifa for marriage to certain person.”
and Allah knows best,
Taher Siddiqui
